A Mother's Mind

3:00 a.m. and there I lay, head spinning

strategy meetings, immunizations, diaper rash
empty college funds, unpaid bills, endless laundry
bad brakes, school enrollment, five year plans, denied claims

eye surgery, meal plans, refinance packets, two little lives
am I old or wise enough to be in charge
this heavy blanket won't let me breathe

I toss back the covers and my feet hit the floor
creep toward the back door in my oversized t-shirt
I turn the knob and open it wide, just to see the night

the night air smells like fresh earth and honeysuckle
I move across the damp grass that glistens in the moonlight
her swing hangs still between two great oaks

the only sound is a cricket chorus as the
silver silhouettes of the treetops applaud in the night breeze
It's perfect.

I sit down in the swing to rock and breathe
slowly my momentum builds, feet leaving the ground
hair blowing behind me as I gulp the fresh air

extended, toes pointed, I lean back and laugh at the stars
my cotton shirt bellows in the wind
flying so high I could kiss the moon

I am ten again